At the beginning of a new year, I find myself doing something that has become a consistent habit for me over the past 15 years. I refer to it as a promise, but I’ve never followed it. I think of it as a prayer to make myself feel better and avoid taking the blame, even though I’ve stopped hoping for a response. It’s not because I’ve lost faith, but because I’ve discovered a better way to communicate my message.
We’ve all been there – the determination to be better in the coming year. “I’ll get my life together this new year; I’ll publish that article; I’ll start working out; I’ll network better; I’ll eat healthier; I’ll put myself out there more…” The list goes on, and I’m no stranger to its hopeful recitation. But when January comes with its struggles and the resolutions made in high spirits begin to waver, New Year becomes February, then March, and before we know it, the second half… then another year, only to repeat the same process.
I realised my life was a looped movie with familiar scenes, having the same ending time and time again. As someone who hates clichés, I knew something had to change. So, I carried out a simple experiment: do things a little differently. I pictured the person I would want to be at the end of the year, discovered what I needed to achieve to become that person, set goals to match my dreams, breaking them down into weekly tasks, and strived to meet them each week.
And 48 weeks later, I can say that, for the first time in forever, I left the previous year and stepped into the new one with a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. What exactly changed?
I didn’t only pray this time; I also planned.
I didn’t promise; I took action right away.
Previously, I’d tell myself “I will do this or do that” without a clear plan and strategy on how I plan on getting those things done. I rested all my confidence on who I would be by New Year, thinking that person is a more responsible, more aware, more accountable version of the person I am at present, but forgetting that the person I am at present needs a perspective shift to become that version. And as long as the present version cannot be trusted, the future version cannot as well.
Now, when I step into a new year, I no longer enter with the delusion that every grey area of my life would magically change just because it’s a new year and just because I said so. But I enter with the conviction that everything will slowly change, one day at a time because I am ready to put in the work day by day to see that come to pass. Best yet, I no longer have to put my life or transformation on hold until January first; I can start right here, right now.
So when you think of the new year, try not to think of it as a new slate that can only be written on by a new, unseen, unmet version of yourself, because this keeps you from experiencing your true greatness and puts you at the mercy of the three-letter word: I’ll. But as long as you keep taking the traitor with you to the battleground, you will be slain before the fight even begins. Until you wriggle free from the shackles of a future commitment without present accountability, you set yourself up for a cliff called disappointment. So as each new year quietly but swiftly approaches, I’ve learned that real change isn’t about making grand promises. It’s about taking intentional steps every day. And, as I step into the next chapter, I’m leaving behind the idea that transformation only happens once a year.
I no longer want to wait for an idealised version of myself in the future. Instead, I am accepting and embracing who I am right now. As the calendar flips, I am no longer focused on becoming someone new. Rather, I am committed to growing, learning, and excelling every day. The journey of change is not about a distant January 1st; it’s about taking small, purposeful steps right here and right now, making each day count.
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